Chapter 4
I didn’t go to the hospital. Instead, I took a cab home.
The apartment Alex and I rented was a small one–bedroom. By the entrance stood a bookshelf with
several textbooks.
They were remnants from when I’d pushed him to complete his bachelor’s degree through online cour at a state university.
My mother was right – his education was limited. When we met, he said he only had a community college degree.
We were both young then. I just thought he was smart, with his whole life ahead of him. He shouldn’t
stay stuck at that level.
Even entry–level positions required bachelor’s degrees these days, with higher starting salaries.
I would work during the day, then stay up late helping him study.
While brushing our teeth side by side in the morning, I’d play French lessons on my phone, helping him review yesterday’s vocabulary. He said learning French would help his career prospects.
For months of practice GRE tests, I reviewed every question he worked through.
With time against us, we managed to complete his online degree in just eighteen months.
To celebrate, we scoured every platform for restaurant coupons just to afford a nice steakhouse dinner.
But now, reading Victoria Bennett’s messages, it all seemed absurd.
“His real name isn’t even Alex. I can’t tell you what it is.”
“Education? Graduated from Stanford, then Oxford. He’s incredibly young for his achievements.”
I pressed my palm against my forehead, leaning on the sofa, my stomach churning.
The door opened. I looked up to see Alex, disheveled from frantically searching hospitals.
My phone showed countless missed calls from him. He leaned against the doorframe, slightly out of
breath.
I watched silently as he approached, took my face in his hands, examining it. His tense expression finally
softened.
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Chapter 4
“Where did you fall?” Despite knowing I’d tricked him, he didn’t mind, just played with my fingers and smiled. “Let me put some medicine on it, before the wound heals.”
Perhaps I was too brave, too quiet in that moment, for him to understand the pain I was enduring.
I studied him carefully. He’d always been this composed, never losing his cool over any challenge.
I’d thought it was his impoverished youth that had forged this unflappable character, this ability to remain unmoved even as mountains crumbled.
But I never considered that such composure might instead come from extreme privilege.
I pulled my hand away, looking ahead: “Alex, my mom’s pressing me to go home for arranged dates.”
His movements froze, the smile not quite faded from his stern face.
“But-“I turned, smiling through tears, with my usual loving gaze, “I told her I’d only marry Alex. I’m waiting for him to marry me.”
I kept looking at him. I hadn’t meant to cry, but my tears wouldn’t obey.
“I said we bought a small house, that we’d move in after marriage. Then we’d have a child – your parents would love them. Boy or girl, doesn’t matter. A girl with your big eyes, or a boy with my fair skin.”
I pulled out the contract from my bag, head down. “Look, I put your name on the deed.”
Look, Alex, how could you ever repay these five passionate, foolish years of my youth?
You, born at the peak, where every step down is beneath you.
Are you laughing inside? Everything I could offer amounts to less than what you’d carelessly spend in your world of luxury.
Alex’s fingers twitched as he examined the contract. After a long while, he looked up: “Emma, I…”
“What is it?” I feigned lightness. “Surprised? Now my mom can’t criticize you anymore.”
His earlier alarm at my tears vanished, replaced by his usual casual manner: “Yes, my Emma is so capable, saying she’ll support me and actually doing it.”
His voice was so soft, his tone so light, I almost missed: “Don’t cry… why cry? I never said I wouldn’t
marry you…”
But Alex, in what capacity would you marry me?
I leaned against the table, dialing a number.
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Chapter 4
While waiting. I watched him busy in the kitchen. He was always the better cook.
When the call connected. I spoke softly: “Tve decided. I’ll go to America.”
“When?” I was in a daze, but seeing Alex’s glance, I suddenly became clear: “January 28th. Yes, that day.”
The day of Alex’s engagement.
