Chapter 8
Chapter 8
I would regret it – regret my fearlessly forward–rushing youth.
Realizing this, I decided to fulfill some unfinished dreams before falling off the cliff.
From bedroom to kitchen to living room, I traced our familiar paths, slowly erasing traces of our
existence.
But this rental apartment held too many memories and too much love.
The evening sun slanting into the bedroom, the warm light swaying, his endless strength devoted entirely to loving me.
Running home laughing through snowy nights, urgently pushing open the door, then kissing against it
until breathless.
Splitting a watermelon in two but fighting with spoons over one half, getting tipsy on $12 cocktails, me cupping his face with tiny kisses until I nestled into his arms as we fell onto the sofa, feeling his chest vibrate with laughter.
In this moment, I decided to let memories stay memories.
The lock turned. I looked back to see a stranger named Alex in the doorway.
Though he looked at me as he had thousands of times before, I knew–this wasn’t him.
He came over, crouched beside me, looking at my suitcase: “Business trip?”
I shook my head: “Just clearing out some useless things, making space.”
Today he wore even shabbier clothes than yesterday – a $50 jacket, $20 pants, only his underwear was pricier since I insisted on quality basics, $39 a pair.
Perhaps in his twenty–some years of privileged life, his greatest hardship was playing with a poor girl
when bored.
Not only lowering his living standards but laboriously crafting lies.
By that measure, I hadn’t lost out.
Besides being a liar, my boyfriend was handsome, well–built, capable, and even good in the kitchen.
“Alex, will you come try on wedding dresses with me tomorrow?”
Seren Tears oflox Seed Winnes:
Chapter 8
His eyes in the lamplight seemed frosted with silver, beautiful even when frowning.
He smiled, somewhat helplessly: “Emma, about marriage, I’m still… isn’t it too early for wedding dresses?”
“It’s just trying them on, doesn’t mean we have to get married. What are you afraid of?“.
Perhaps because it was the first time I’d mentioned not getting married so playfully, as if suddenly
indifferent.
Alex froze momentarily, pulling me into his arms teasingly: “Are you mad at me?”
“I’m just thinking, this path isn’t finished yet. No one knows how it will end.”
“Maybe we’re not right for each other. Maybe my future belongs with someone else…”
He gripped my fingers, laughing in anger: “Shut up. I’ll go with you, okay?”
Instead of throwing myself into his arms ecstatically like before, I just kept packing.
Victoria messaged asking why I kept asking about him.
Warning me: “Even if you’re looking to cheat, at least pick someone in your league. Why keep asking about him? He was in Milan picking wedding dresses with his fiancée recently. Don’t embarrass our alma
mater.”
That’s when I learned his “business trip” was spent trying on wedding dresses with another woman.
The bridal appointment was made last minute, scheduled for evening.
All day, I sat quietly in the living room until dark, when Alex returned from work
Marrying Alex had been my mantra throughout my girlhood.
I’d dreamed of walking toward him in a white dress, holding flowers.
Just like now, amid the bustling crowd, I’d look at him, misty–eyed, asking: “Do I look beautiful?”
Of course I would – what bride isn’t beautiful? It’s one of the most beautiful moments in a woman’s life.
Alex didn’t speak, turning to look out the window.
Snow weighing down pedestrians, life’s many hardships–scenery he’d never noticed before.
In his peripheral vision stood a girl wearing a wedding dress just for him, but suddenly he lacked the courage to look back
Chapter 8
Alex, look back at her.
This is probably the first and last time – she will no longer be yours.
